Matters of the Heart

I recently read a book that really moved me and tugged....no, actually gripped my heart. I sat reading the book, praying, dwelling on the message, literally weeping, thinking about my heart and where I am right now. You see, I read about a woman so in tune with God, and a God so in love with His people that they were on a mission not to let a single person feel unloved or unwanted.

The book I read is Same Kind of Different as Me. I'm not even close to the first person who has read it and I am so glad I won't be the last. I think it changes hearts and stubborn minds. I was introduced to this book from my mom, who was introduced to it by my sister. I'm not sure how I hadn't heard of it before. Maybe because my heart wasn't ready until now. Maybe because God put this book in my life when it was His perfect timing. He had something to teach me and He waited until I was ready to hear it. I'm so very thankful that the time has come.

It is very hard for me to admit my flaws. No one likes to admit the things they don't like about themselves, but I'm not talking bad hair days and 10 lbs of excess weight....I'm talking characteristics so opposite from the God I love and serve. Flaws like not loving all those around me, but only those that are easy to love. Flaws like seeing the worst in people rather than looking for the very best and seeing that person as a child of God. Why am I any better than the person next to me that just hasn't been told the story of God's amazing grace? I'm not. I'm absolutely not. I've just been shown mercy.

While reading the book, I found myself being cynical and pointing my finger at (what initially looked like) laziness, selfishness, rudeness...only to read in the very next sentence how my perception was SO WRONG! I don't want to spoil the book for you because I pray that you'll read it, but I was absolutely brought to my knees and wept in disgust at myself as I realized how my perceptions formed so fast and so negatively. I read about Denver (the main character) sleeping during the day and I felt so letdown that when not being watched, he would revert to his lazy ways. In the very next sentence, God showed me the heart of someone so far beyond my tiny mind and I realized that it really isn't always what it seems. How ashamed I felt.

I have prayed for my mind to be transformed and my heart to be softened. Somewhere along the way I lost the fact that we are all God's children and deserve to be loved, respected, appreciated, important and forgiven. Not just me and not just you. It goes from the guy that cuts me off on I-35 to the woman checking me out at Wal-Mart to my next door neighbor who I haven't taken the time to meet and truly care about.

God has some work to do on me, and I pray that my heart will become so in line with His that I see people the way he sees people...as worthy.