Good Night, John Boy...

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far" ~ Philippians 1:21-23

On Tuesday of last week, my precious Papa went to be with Jesus. I have had the privilege of 31 wonderful years with him and God gave me the last 7 weeks with him to say goodbye, knowing our time was short. What a blessing I had of knowing him, being raised by him, being loved by him, being taught by him, being reprimanded by him, being entertained by him, and being his pride and joy.  

 I had the privilege of speaking at his funeral. I wanted to honor him. I wanted to tell everyone that came to celebrate his life just how much he meant to me, but that is an impossible task. There is no way to express that love in a few short minutes and mere words. I tried to think of stories I could tell but I could hardly think of stories that don't involve my Nana and Papa. They have always been there. Loving, supporting, encouraging us.

From fried burritos and churros in the 1st grade cafeteria...while wearing a star badge with "Tiffany's Papa" on it, to cheerleading competitions, to birthday parties and my wedding day...they never missed a thing. It was important to them to be there...WE were important to them.

One of the joys of Growing up within 15 miles of my Nana and Papa was the frequent sleepovers. I'm not sure if they really wanted us or if my parents were just really good at pawning us off, but I think we spent the night at least once a month. We played go-fish, we swam, we drank Dr.Peppers like they were going out of style out of tiiiiny styrofoam cups, and without fail...every single night, They would tuck us in and once Papa was in his bed he would call out to us, "Good Night John Boy!" we would giggle and shout our goodnights back.

It took me a while to realize all children weren't as lucky as we were. That all children didn't have such wonderful role models of love, loyalty, support, encouragement and fun. As much as he loves us I don't think it could compare to the love he had for my sweet Nana. His high school sweet heart and bride of 58 years, we never wondered how deep his love was for her. I'm so grateful for their example of how to love, how to forgive, how to laugh together, how to take care of each other, and how to enjoy life together. For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health...til death do us part. What a privilege it is to have had that behavior modeled for us.

The reality is that I could never find the right words to tell you what my Papa meant to me and how he shaped my life. But I can tell you he was a good man. He loved God, he loved my Nana fiercely, he loved our family deeply and we are blessed because of him.

These days are so hard. I miss him greatly. My mom and my uncle Mike miss their dad...my Nana misses her high school sweetheart and the person she went to bed holding hands with every night...Taylor, Kristen and I miss our Papa....but we have assurance that we will see him again. And what fun he is having reuniting with his mom and dad!

My Papa is completely healthy now. He is talking with Jesus, probably heading up a round of golf or a baseball game...he's been up there a week so I have to feel like his new mansion is just about all labeled. He's getting things just how he wants it!

After all, he does things his way! The doctor told us 7 weeks ago we would have 2-4 weeks with him. He had 7 good weeks. 7 good weeks for us to laugh together, cry together, tell each other just how much we love each other...and I am so very grateful. Oh how I cherish his words and those moments together. Every one of them. And we were with him to the end. Holding his hands as he went from our hands into the hands of His savior who called him home.

 Papa, I love you, I miss you, and I promise you we will take good care of your bride!

"Good Night, John Boy!"