I've been completely out of control lately. Life has just been throwin' me Nolan-Ryan-Style fastballs and I'm standing in the batters box with the bat on my shoulder. It's tough to complain when my weekends have been spent in New York, in Dallas and soon to be spending my weekend in Nashville. It's just crazy because my weeknights fly by in a flash too. I have a women's Bible study one night, community group (group Bible study) one night, Dave has class one night, and then add in any other social obligations and before we know it our week nights and weekends are spent running 90 to nothin'.
It's lots of great stuff, don't get me wrong. But at some point (and that point, for me, was last Tuesday night...) it all becomes too much and I reached boiling point. Last Monday I finally had a night at home. My suitcase was still unpacked after my trip to NYC, the kitchen was a mess, the floor needed to be vacuumed and I was sitting on the couch, after making dinner, watching DWTS. I looked up and in the right corner of the living room I saw a cobweb. I literally had not.one.single.ounce. of energy to go clean it. So, I sat there and I finished watching the very sub-par talent on this season and then went to bed.
On Tuesday, I got a call from our fertility nurse that put me over the edge and I just started crying on the phone with her. That's when I realized I was out of control in more areas than just my messy house. It seemed like every aspect of my life was overwhelming & in complete chaos. I cried to my friends about it on Tuesday night at Bible study and like the wonderful friends that they are, they just listened. I so appreciate them listening and letting me cry without thinking I'm (tooooo) crazy. I know they have to think I'm a little whack-a-do let's be honest. That night, I decided I needed to get a grip.
I have absolutely no control over our fertility situation and I know that. I realized that me asking God to take this burden and deal with it means trusting Him with it daily. That entire situation is His problem to handle and I trust Him more than anyone else with the future of our family.
It felt so good to put Him in control of every aspect of my life. An enormous burden was lifted and it actually gave me the desire and the energy to "move" and start dealing with other out of control areas, so I decided to get a move on it.
It's amazing how when you just get started and make one change everything else follows. After mentally getting my act together I decided to physically start with our house. We were finally in town for the weekend so I rallied the troops (Dave) and I spoke his love language (an excel spreadsheet) and we got down to business.The spreadsheet listed every room in our house. I outlined what needed to be done in each room and assigned the duty to either myself or to Dave. I knew that it was going to be tough and I didn't want us to get side tracked. I also wanted it to be very clear what my expectations were and the things I wanted Dave to help me with.
In all, it was a nutso weekend! We worked our tails off...and the end result is a truly refreshing and amazing home and overall refreshing feeling in my soul. That may sound silly but it's how I feel. Last night, we went for a walk and I told Dave I just felt SO productive. We got rid of things we don't need, we cleaned, cleaned, cleaned, our pantry is organized, our refrigerator and freezer are cleaned out...we are completely organized and I was able to go for a walk and know dinner was going to be ready in the crock pot when we got home. PHEW!
Why in the world don't we do things like that more often??
How was your weekend?