Breath of Life...

Do you guys watch Survivor? I have never seen a single episode, but I know it's very popular and has a loyal following because it continues to come on season after season. This morning, my radio show was talking about the last episode and the fact that the casted off contestant, Krista, left her luxury item to another player as she left. Their luxury item is the ONE item they are allowed to bring from home to the island. Krista brought her Bible. As she left, she asked if she could give her item to another player and she gave it to Matt, another believer who did not have his Bible with him. As she gave it to him, he smiled and hugged her and then he said these words....

"I can't explain how much that meant to me because...

that book just breathes life..."

In the last 3 months I have found myself in the biggest trial period of my life outside of my mother battling breast cancer. It has truly been a low period of my life which I have chosen to not blog about and am still not ready to fully disclose. However, as I listened to those words this morning I was overjoyed with how true Matt's statement is. "That book just breathes life."

For whatever reason God has called David and I to this place, but he has a plan and a purpose for us. I know this in my heart and I trust Him with our lives so I have hope and a peace for tomorrow. Please do not get me wrong, I know the way I want it to work out, but I also know that God is SO good. All the time. And He may not bless me the way I thought He would or the way I want Him to, but I feel certain the blessing will far outweigh my wildest dreams. I am certain in that. I've had the joy of a few travels in my life and I'm blown away at the beauty of this earth and I know that was all a design of the creator and a reflection of His love for us and His creativity. I know my situation is not new to Him and He will be so creative in His plan for us. I'm finding peace in that.

It doesn't mean I don't cry sometimes (and by cry I mean sob uncontrollably) or tell Him how mad I am at Him sometimes (He's big, he can handle it), but I tell Him that I am clinging to the promise that He gives me in Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And I'm depending on Him to make good on His promise and fill me with hope, joy, peace, patience and an understanding that He is sovereign and He has this all figured out.

And the truth is, while I struggle with the desires of my heart that are so real it goes from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes, He calms me and reminds me that He is all I ever need. So I'll find resolve in that and beg Him to fill me with himself.

I'm not sure who first said it, but I know my mom always says it:

"Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes He lets the storms rage and He calms the child."

So I will praise you in this storm.