Airing my Dirty Laundry...

Men are funny creatures. They hunt, fish, golf, sweat profusely while doing yard work, eat their weight in carbohydrates, can use public bathrooms no matter how dirty they are because they don't have to touch anything, and shy away from questions like, "Does this make my butt look big?"

Dave is a wonderful husband and always answers, "Of course not" to that last question even though I know he's thinking, "Compared to Carrie Underwood or a tractor trailer?" At least he keeps his thoughts to himself! We've been married for 3 1/2 years now and I already know how he will react in most situations. If we're out in public and I see someone wearing something they clearly should not be....like spandex...or socks and sandals...or spandex with socks and sandals (I know, the mental picture is almost too much)...I know the "your momma" and "your sister" jokes are sure to follow. I know that when we go to Chili's he's going to order the buffalo chicken sandwich with no tomatoes. I know that he's going to borrow my chapstick and roll it almost all the way to the top and when he puts the cap back on it will almost smoosh it. I know all of these things and they make me comfortable and happy because I can expect it. He's a creature of habit and there are many things I can expect...Most habits are endearing but a few have run their course.

Months ago, he had enough of one of my habits and asked me to please throw away my "scraps" of meat that I don't eat before bringing my plate to the sink. I make dinner, he does the dishes, so I took his request to heart being appreciative of his help. Since that day there hasn't been a single scrap left on my plate. He asked nicely and I was happy to comply. SO, I decided to try it! I asked him to please put away the "pocket vomit" that makes it's way to our kitchen counter the MINUTE he enters the door in the afternoon. Keys, phone, receipts, change, chapstick, sunglasses...the list goes on. I got him a "catch-all" that sits right by his bed but it hasn't done the trick. I'm sure in year 4 it's bound to stick...

I also asked that when he makes his lunch in the morning, to please throw away the apple stickers instead of sticking them to the inside of the sink where they do NOT go. Also, every.single.morning. he makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sticks the peanut butter covered knife into a glass of water. Every.Morning. Can that go in the dishwasher that is right next to the sink? I think so.

This brings us to Sunday....on our drive home from Dallas.

I was out of town Wednesday-Sunday for work and then for fun, and after being gone to Tahoe and then gone for work I just wanted to come home to a clean house. Which is the way I left it on Tuesday night. When I left on Wednesday I specifically said to Dave, "You will be here today through Friday. Will you please just keep things picked up so I can come home to a clean house?" He replied, "maybe". Oh how I love thee...let me count the ways.

So on Sunday, we were driving home from Dallas and I point blank asked him, "When we get home, will the house be clean or dirty?" (I asked in Temple so I had 35 miles to prepare myself) He said, "Well, what do you mean by clean?" I said, "Will there be mail all over the island and will there be apple stickers in the sink?" He started laughing. Because he knew DARN WELL I was going to see freaking apple stickers in the sink. He replied, "Well, that's where I wash my apples! Do you expect me to walk to the trashcan?"

You're right. Both of those feet to the trashcan are pretty taxing. "YES! I expect you to walk to the trashcan."

He said he would just start eating the stickers. I love the way guys compromise.

You can imagine my surprise when I walked in to find this.